children's jokes
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
When the school lets you near children again...
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What's long, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.