children's jokes
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
The teacher fainted.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.