Children Jokes

What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool

A bath bomb

sooo... I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

when you go to a orphanage for a field trip :when the workers said i remember you as a kid

There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.

I was gonna do a school shooter joke but it was aimed at younger audiences.

In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.

What do michael jackson and santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids room with empty sacks.

Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don't spit.

Never buy a epileptic kid light up sketchers

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

What do you call a catholic priest who molests children? A catholic priest

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

ones made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.

Michael Jakson gets really ill so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there he says 'am i in heaven?' The doctor replies 'Nah sir we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward.'