Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
