Children jokes

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?

When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!

What can you never tell an orphan?

Go home to your parents.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

You give them a Sandy Hook.

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.

Why are orphanages like dogs?

Because they get adopted.