Children jokes
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Do orphans love doing crime?
'Cause they want to be wanted.
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire. Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!" Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--" Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai