Children jokes
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
I'm not a robot, but orphans are.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
What is an orphan's favorite store? Home Depot.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...