Children jokes
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Do orphans love doing crime?
'Cause they want to be wanted.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
no no no no no no no no no
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
I put the D in Children.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.