Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Do want to know why they call it an orphanage? Cause they couldn't call it orphans home
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
stop hating on pedos at least the drive slow in school zones
An ugly arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice,"
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Teacher:"What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?" Student:"Mistakes in the dark make children"
what do pedophiles and Xboxs have in common?
They both get turned on by kids
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
