Children jokes
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."