Children jokes
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.