Children jokes
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Alle Kinder heißen Melissa, nur nicht Melissa, er heißt Kurt fra Zonen.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
Memes
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.