Children

Children jokes

Child

    • What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

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    • Dad

    • This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

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    • Children memes

    Orphan

    • I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

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    • Domestic Violence

    • I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

    Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

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    • Couple

    • A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

    One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

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    • Orphan

    • New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

    Students: Damn.

    Teacher: Is anyone missing?

    Students: Your parents!