Children jokes
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
There's three kids: Little Drop, Little Feather, and Little Brick. Little Feather goes, "Mommy, why do you call me L'feather?" She answers, "Cuz a little feather fell over your head when you were born." L'Drop asks his mom, "Mommy, why do you call me L'drop?" She answers, "Cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born." L'brick goes, "aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn."
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
When the school lets you near children again...
Person: Where's your mom and dad?
Orphan: :(
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
What is the difference between underaged privileged children with bone cancer and you?
I like you!
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.