What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
Children Jokes
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
