Children jokes
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.