Child jokes
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.