Child jokes
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.