Child jokes
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Memes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
Daddy, where's my anus?
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Both can't see their parents.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.