Child jokes

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.

The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.

A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"

"Sure," said the little boy.

The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.

"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

They never get old.

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

Why do orphans hate Fridays?

Family movie night.

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.