Child jokes

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

Why do orphans hate Fridays?

Family movie night.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until their parents come home.

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

What's a bonus of being an orphan?

You can't get homework.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Why did the child cross the road?

Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?

They don't have parent permission.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.