Child jokes
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.
When your mom pulls the "I put food on the table, I put clothes on your back, I put a roof over your head" card.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.