If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Child Jokes
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Daddy, where's my anus?
Q: Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
A: Because he got hit by a bus.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
