Child jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
When the school lets you near children again...
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Q: What's an emo's favourite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.