Child jokes
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life changed when I found out she was under the horse.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.