Child jokes
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
Q: Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
A: Because he got hit by a bus.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Daddy, where's my anus?
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.