Child jokes
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.