Child jokes
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of dead babies.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
"Dick me down shorts."
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"