Child jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home base.
l li
ll l_
What are orphans' least favorite movie?
The Promised Neverland.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it comes back.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.