Chess jokes
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
"No towers? :("
"No queen? :("
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
Two towers.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Why can't New York City play chess?
Because they lost 2 towers!