Chess jokes
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
Memes
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
"No towers? :("
"No queen? :("
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Two towers.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.