Chess jokes
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Chess board White: right Black: left Yellow: invading
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why is England bad at chess?
'Cause they lost their queen.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
"No towers? :("
"No queen? :("
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
Why can't Biden play chess?
Because he doesn't have the towers.