Chess jokes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
Why is England bad at chess?
'Cause they lost their queen.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
"No towers? :("
"No queen? :("