How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Chess Jokes
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
"No towers? :("
"No queen? :("
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.