Frank: I am named frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years. Finley: I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties! Mia: Can we please change the subject?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password
i went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
the way u talk is so slow that the put u in the movie fast and furious and changed the title to slow and serious!!!😂😂😭
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the green light say to the red light - don't look I'm changing
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says "I look like a brain", Cashew says "I look like a kidney", Banana says "can we change the topic please? "
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb? 5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
I actually think paul walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive
He had a change of race tho when he died
How much women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. ...just kidding- - none. They can't change anything.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
