Change jokes

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?

A: Because they're retired!

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

I wanted to get brain surgery.

I changed my mind.

When does it rain money?

When there's a change in the weather.

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

How do Chinese people name their children?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."

Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

Why do leaves change color in the fall?

Because they want to leaf their old color.

What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?

Watching their expression change.

Normal people: I'm my own nationality.

Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

How do Asians name their babies?

They throw pots and pans around.

"Ching, Chang, Clang!"