I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single I fight with my parents but you don't see me change my status to Orphan
Q; Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired
I wanted to get brain surgery. I changed my mind.
How do chinese people name there children? They thro pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, Ching Chong Chang.
Why did Steven hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first? Watching their expression change.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”
how many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb... none they cant change anything I am just kidding you know gay jokes aren't funny cum on guys.
If finding Nemo was scientifically correct, marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking.
Daddy I really miss you mummy changed my name to tickle timpson anyway daddy I forgive you for abusing me
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well at least he's honest.
how do Asians name their babies? They throw pots and pans around ‘Ching, Chang, Clang’
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many sally's does it take to change a ligthbulb?
None, she was eletricuted.
Tyler is ugly
If you are called Tyler change your name
