Change jokes
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ... so Trump can't tweet it.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
Kinky~
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer may shock you!
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
I was just fine being bisexual... Now I’m gender fluid... great...
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.