Change jokes
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.
So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”