Change jokes
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
"Ching chang chong."
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!