Change jokes
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Memes
changing his avatar
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."