Change jokes

What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?

Puberty waits for the blow up.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

Both aren't what they used to be...

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.

How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To hire the Mexicans.

How is there evidence of climate change?

The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?

A: Because they're retired!

I wanted to get brain surgery.

I changed my mind.

When does it rain money?

When there's a change in the weather.