Change jokes

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.

My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.

What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?

Puberty waits for the blow up.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

Why did Steven Hawking die?

His wife changed the WiFi password.

How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?

To see how the other side felt!

What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.

What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

Both aren't what they used to be...

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To hire the Mexicans.

How is there evidence of climate change?

The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!