Change jokes
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.