Change

Change Jokes

You: Finds a time clock that can change time

Your friend the next day: Hey, can borrow yo' house

You: No I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again

doctor: you need to eat healthy

me: no

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died

me: oh my goodness

doctor: in a plane crash

me: that sounds unrelated

doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.

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A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, β€œI really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor

Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot. Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? -- That's a silly question feminists can't change anything.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb? β€œYou’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?" Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?