Cause

Cause jokes

Prank

  • Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!

    When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!

    Later!

    Science

  • Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?

    A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

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  • Wife

  • Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.

    Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.

    Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."

    Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.

    He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.

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  • Chicken

  • Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?

    'Cause they were using fowl language!

    Dog

  • I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

    Dark Humor

  • What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.

    What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.

    What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.

    What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.

    Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.

    What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.

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  • Butt

  • A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

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  • Shit

  • It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.