Cause jokes

What’s another name for a cow?

You... cause you're fat.

Why did the cow smell?

'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.

Health commercials be like:

Serious side effects can cause:

Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.

*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*

Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?

'Cause she can't watch her mouth.

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!

Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?

It was the bomb.

Do orphans love doing crime?

'Cause they want to be wanted.

Why can't orphans go to Family Dollar?

'Cause they don't have a family.

Why can't an orphan play kickball?

Because they can't hit home.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.

Why can’t an orphan go on a field trip?

'Cause they need a parent's signature.

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?

'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?

Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!

Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

Me playing a game...

What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.

Like if that was good.

Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

Mom: Well, it’s my house.

Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

Mom: Go to school!

At school:

Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!