Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
