Cause jokes
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.
Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.
Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."
Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.
He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Leo: Mom?
Mom: Yes!
Leo: Is rape good?
Mom: NO!
Leo: Good cause I raped someone!
Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
If 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
Because he was between 9 11.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!