Cause jokes

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Why did the skeleton die from laughter?

'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

Cause I am Batman!

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?

'Cause he was in need of a light snack!

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.

Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

Grandma: "Y’know, I used to be in this wheelchair cause of back pain. But ever since I met Spence, the pain went to my legs. At least my back is fixed!"