Cause jokes
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
Memes
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
Cause I am Batman!
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.