Cause jokes

Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?

'Cause they can't elope.

Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.

AKA, you're up for adoption.

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.

I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.

I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.

Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?

Because their phone exploded the towers.

Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

Why do men get great ideas in bed?

'Cause they are plugged into a genius!

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Cause I am Batman!