Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Cause I am Batman!
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
