Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
