Cause jokes
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*
Why can't orphans eat a big bag of crisps?
'Cause it's family size...?!
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Cause they taste funny.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"