Cause jokes
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.
Mom: Well, it’s my house.
Little Johnny: Then go clean it.
Mom: Go to school!
At school:
Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.
Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.
Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Why can't you trust the atom? 'Cause they make up everything.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.