Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause Iโm digging that ass.
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didnโt have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
