Cause jokes
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.