Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
Why donโt orphans play baseball?
Because they canโt find home.
Why canโt orphans be criminals?
Because theyโre not wanted!
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
