Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
