Cat jokes

We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

Spread the cat gun.

I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"

He said, "Dogs."

I said, "Why?"

He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...

What do you call a girl furry?

A pussy cat.

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

Hang in there, you all, Literally.

Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.

What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

The cat is actually cute.

What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.

Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.

This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?

The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).

Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!

My friends: Hi to my little friend!

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.

What color flowers do mama cats like to get?

Purrrrrrrple flowers.

If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?

What do you do when your cat's dead?

Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.