Cat jokes
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?