If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.
On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
On reddit now. u/Long-Cat-4047. Also email is heavenskala1@gmail.com or Gowiththeflow349@gmail.com
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat? The cat is still alive. What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner? Nothing it’s all just mystery meat.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Landing on it's feet won't help a cat in China...
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
