I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasnāt funny to you, then your hard boiled, thatās all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like āYouāve gotta be KITTEN me.ā Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didnāt? Oh, alright, thatās okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didnāt the skeleton ask the girl out? He didnāt have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didnāt make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
Hey I have a joke!! Whatās the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!! š¤£
What did Schrƶdinger say to Shakespeare? -- To be and not to be.
why did the cat meow because its a cat,And they meow
today my idiot brother screamed"ahhhhh im dead!' but it wasn't really, so i d3cded to make it a reality until my sister came.............................
AND HELPED ME! - for once but then two minutes later my mom showed up, we k!lled him right infront of her and she screamed! "DONUTS AND PIZZA FOR YPU AND MORE IF YOU GO TO MRS ROBERTS HOUSE AND SAY HI AND BYE TO DADDY!!!!! and she hands us both a sharp tool and i say what about tommy??!!! arn't u MAD!!!!!!! then she replied who's THAT!!??? COZ HE AINT MINE HIS NAME IS TOMMY, TOMMY ROBERTS. so then me and my sister visit mrs ROBERTS AND SHE SAID OH THIS ISN'T ANYTHING IMPORTANT GO HOME! so then my sister nd i say hi! and do a countdount aftr that my nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR , MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL!ššš but then the police question us where daddy was so then mom said....................... oh he's moved on! so then the police officer was like ahem ma'm where! SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit eitherš§ i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................
ok like for part twoāŗāŗāŗ
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats donāt hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You donāt understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats arenāt venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"Iām Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
preview.redd.it/3iazz5tzmjm71.png?width=437&format=png&auto=webp&s=f646aaa5556a5c620c18b52e3a0223bc59b5e56e
On reddit now. u/Long-Cat-4047. Also email is heavenskala1@gmail.com or Gowiththeflow349@gmail.com
In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.
With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.
Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.
Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.
A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.
With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.
Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.
But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.
And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.
you look like a cat
hello ppls i'm lilkitten ig
puss
ā when the ugliest cat looked at youā then you search up the ugliest thing in the worldā you show up
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?