Career jokes
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
Why did the orphan want to become a prostitute?
To get a daddy.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Skillet.
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
I lick poo for a living... You?
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Job sucks. XD
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!