Career jokes
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT MIXTAPES.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH while he dropped his beats!
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he wanted to FIND his way to the TOP.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!