Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Why did the DJ go to therapy?
Because he had too many issues with his TURNTABLE.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
So he could navigate his way through the rap game.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH while he dropped his beats!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT MIXTAPES.
