Career jokes
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH while he dropped his beats!
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he loved to drop HOT DISHES.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
What is a gay man's favorite job?
A blowjob.