Career jokes
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
They were going through a stage!
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Literally the most popular job: YouTube.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
Memes
how it started
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the studio on the other side.
Why did the rapper become a tailor?
Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To trim his verses.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Skillet.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"