Car jokes
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
What has a magic car? A magic dog.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂