Car jokes
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
A Ford?
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
Memes
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Stig
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.