Car jokes
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
A Ford?
Memes
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.