Car Jokes

me: ok so let's get this straight.... cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car me: but I didn't do anything? cop: no me: so why are you arresting me then? cop: imma tell you a story me: oh no....... cop: I know, now come on. me: ok where? cop: my room. me: which room? cop: my bedroom me:😱im a girl cop:so am I, now get in me: but I'm 9 cop: I'm 59

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.

911 I JUST CRASHED MY CAR I THINK ITS BURNING I CAN'T SEE IT HURTS TO BREATHE

Guy : are you depression cause you're crippling me Car driver : no I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you Guy : don't worry I was already crippled because I got crippling depression

This is Sally😉 Sally says hi 👐 This is Sally when a car comes by 🤕

I was in my car listing to my radio steve windwood's song came on just roll with baby I said that must be one of steven hawkings favorate songs he sings to his girlfrined

Mom I’m pregnant are you drunk why because your boy

What do i think about the Kennedy assassination? First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

why did hittle kill himself because he wanted to buy car but the hittler farted

By the time I ran my wife over with my car. I had to stop for gas twice.

I went out for a drive, and attempted to drift on the road, it didn't end well for me, or fo the speed bumps I hit. *wait. there isn't any road bumps* *o h s h i t.*

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”

i was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street, when I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

why did Elsa let go of the balloon car show Let It Go get it ?

The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. “I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my father.” said Johnny. “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.” “I do.” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”

I was in the car and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy an a,m like what the

marriage is like buying a car. you see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and the certain parts stop working. then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and your still stuck with the old ones. you look over and go "but i just wanna sit in it. Just once." "its even got leather interior, its chrome, it doesn't even have oil/gas leaks!" " and it doesn't squeak!"