Car jokes

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

What color is your Bugatti?

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

Wrapped around that tree.

I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues.

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she is a girl.

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?

Because it said, "Focus."

Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.