Car Jokes

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.

I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked? “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush

If your buy renault megane, all your girls will be gone

Have you driven through Dealey plaza it will blow your mind~john f. Kennedy

1979: i bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future" 2019: the flying cars future

Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again

What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour

~babies in a blender 😌

Why do orphans never get a car

Because their parents need to buy them one

Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end

A girl called me ugly So I drove over her with a car and called her flat

How do you spell racecar backwards? racecar How do you spell racecar sideways? Paul Walkers death.

It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.

Why did the chicken cro-

UM ACTUALLY THE CHICKEN CANT CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS ITS UNER SOME ROOSTER IR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN AND THEY WILL DIE.🤓