Car jokes
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
What’s big and black on the road?
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
Potatoes
What is an orphan's favorite car?
A family car.
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!
(Obtained by running over 69 children.)