Car jokes
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
What is an orphan's favorite car?
A family car.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
What’s big and black on the road?
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.