Car jokes
What color is your Bugatti?
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.