Car jokes
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.