Car jokes
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain. A baby born will die before the sin. Chocolate rain. The school books say it can't be here again. Chocolate rain. The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate rain. Build a tent and say the world is dry. Chocolate rain. Zoom the camera out and see the lie. Chocolate rain. Forecast to be falling yesterday. Chocolate rain. Only in the past is what they say. Chocolate rain. Raised your neighborhood insurance rates. Chocolate rain. Makes us happy 'livin in a gate. Chocolate rain. Made me cross the street the other day. Chocolate rain. Made you turn your head the other way. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Seldom mentioned on the radio. Chocolate rain. It's the fear your leaders call control. Chocolate rain. Worse than swearing worse than calling names. Chocolate rain. Say it publicly and you're insane. Chocolate rain. No one wants to hear about it now. Chocolate rain. Wish real hard it goes away somehow. Chocolate rain. Makes the best of friends begin to fight. Chocolate rain. But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain. Every February washed away. Chocolate rain. Stays behind as colors celebrate. Chocolate rain. The same crime has a higher price to pay. Chocolate rain. The judge and jury swear it's not the face. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Dirty secrets of economy. Chocolate rain. Turns that body into GDP. Chocolate rain. The bell curve blames the baby's DNA. Chocolate rain. But test scores are how much the parents make. Chocolate rain. Flippin' cars in France the other night. Chocolate rain. Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai. Chocolate rain. 'Cross the world and back it's all the same. Chocolate rain. Angels cry and shake their heads in shame. Chocolate rain. Lifts the ark of paradise in sin. Chocolate rain. Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain. More than marchin', more than passing law. Chocolate rain. Remake how we got to where we are. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.