whats a car's favorite place to hang out?
a CARnival
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Mom:kid bring your toys and clothing to the car were going to Disney land
Kid:ok
Bring kid to the orphanages.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by and orphanage but then relies, there's no speed bumps here...
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks "What's so magical about it?" the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.
The bartender shakes his head, and says.
"Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks 'What are you?', the baby bunny replies 'Well I'm a baby bunny. What are you?' the baby skunk says 'Well I don't know am I a baby bunny too?' the baby bunny says 'No you're not a baby bunny.' so the baby skunk asks 'Well what am I then?' the baby bunny replies 'Well you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white so you must be Mexican.'
Q; Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked? “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
If your buy renault megane, all your girls will be gone
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Why do orphans never get a car
Because their parents need to buy them one
Have you driven through Dealey plaza it will blow your mind~john f. Kennedy
Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end
How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour
~babies in a blender 😌
How do you spell racecar backwards? racecar How do you spell racecar sideways? Paul Walkers death.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car and she farted into the gas tank.
