Car jokes

If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?

That.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?

A: Makes a Down payment.

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.

Wait, there aren't any road bumps.

O h s h i t.

Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.

We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

Are you a race car?

Cuz I’m tryna fuck.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.

Why did I walk across the road?

To get hit by a car.