Car jokes

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?

Because his keys were inside of the ignition.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.