Cancer Jokes

Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old

What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?

A Lymphomaniac

what zodiac sign has no hair cancer

One day at school I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school I made fun of an orphan.

The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis

The make a wish foundation has gone too far. All of the make a wish kids asked for cancer to be gone so they just gave the cancer to all of the make a wish kids.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer.

A prostitute can beat my d**k anyday, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.

what do you call a person with cancer a ghost with a body

Why did Muhammad Ali go down because he couldn't stand the cancer

What's the similarities between dark humour and cancer

It's funnier when kids get it

Player in baldis basics says why are you bald? Well I have cancer. Oh good for you

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: thank you for your service.

Sorry if it’s too far but don’t come here if u can’t take it

I saw a dad shaved his daughters head because she made fun of a woman with cancer. Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant women🤭

Boobs are like friends you have big ones small ones real ones fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer

Doctor: what is your zodiac sign?

Patient: cancer why?

Doctor: what are the chances

Patient: of what?

in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night

Vape company:hey want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction? Teens:NO WAY! Vape company:but it’s mango flavoured! Teens:O OK 😤

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."