Cancer jokes

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

What’s the most common name for cancer patients?

Luke (leukemia)

Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?

A: Tumor.

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.

Yeet.

What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?

A Royale with cancer.

What do you call a guy named Ben?

Answer: Ben

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?

Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”

He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.

EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

WebMD: Cancer.

A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*