Cancer jokes
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.