Can jokes

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

Why do leftists call their child Ariel?

So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.

What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.