Can jokes

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

What two things can you never have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner!

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.