Can jokes
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?