Came Jokes

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.

Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the milk.

Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?

Because his dog had a sore throat!

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1