Call jokes
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
What do you call Kyson when he is banned on PS4?
A depressed Indian boy.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
What do you call an emo's face?
Elmo's son.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.