Call jokes
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
What do you call a musician 👩‍🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Memes
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)