Call jokes
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
Memes
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
What do you call a gay T-Rex?
A tyranno-sore-ass!
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.