Call jokes
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.