Call jokes
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
Memes
joe mama roast
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕