Call jokes
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.
I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."
At school I am always called emo.
Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.
Yes, sir.
Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.
I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.
Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.
There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.
Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.
Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Sue-icide squad.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What's the special part of town called? Downtown.
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.