Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because no one will call them daddy.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
